the tunnel

Good morning! I know its like 3:49 am. Can you believe that I can't sleep? I've been sleeping at around this time for the past few days! Mostly because I have to study and well tonight... I haven't really done that very well yet. (and I can't believe I forgot all my mathematics... and vectors is so essential. Man, I think I need extra lessons for it!)

Anyway, I was just thinking and doing some thinking. While praying... I thought of a tunnel. You know how it is that people always say there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that would be your hope that keeps you moving on? Yea.. I was just thinking about that and I realised that yes there's a light but there's more to it than just that light. That light represents Jesus. And He isn't just going to stand there at the end of the tunnel. In actual fact, He didn't just stood there waiting. Instead, He climbed in, crawled into it, reached out to you, guided you through that tunnel and brought you out through it all. When He climbed into that tunnel, basically He came out from where He was and into our world. He walked into our lives when He lives for so much more majesty and He became one of us and yet was the way, the truth and the life.

It's amazing at what time of the day you would receive revelation like this. I find it odd that it's all happening at almost 4 a.m and my brain feels fried... (our lecturer moved so fast on Physics and we all had our jaws dropped...)

Everyday I am thanking Him for where I am. I'm not saying that everyday here is great... the environment here is so different. And you always have to be on your toes in everything that you do. But His convictions, His correction, and the pruning that's been going on is bringing me closer to Him. The one mistake that so many people make is that when they realize their mistakes... they choose to hide away from God and run with the problem instead of coming to God with the problem... When we were saved, we were not that clean and yet He cleansed us. Likewise, we can come to Him, all in mud, and yet He'll wash us off .. that doesn't mean you do the wrong things intentionally over and over again because His mercy endures forever. He isn't dumb you know. =p

I've learnt that an organized life will go far. Call it geeky but I don't know why people are so afraid to show that you are organized. Maybe it's a mindset that if you are organized, you're like a perfectionist but I don't think so. If you're organized, that means you are wise because the complacency of fools will destroy you. Complacency and procrastination don't get you very far... oh wait, in fact it doesn't get you anywhere.

sorry to burst your bubbles friends, but I'd rather burst it than to see it explode. :P

alrithey then.. gotta run... man im getting hungry.

(oh btw... had japanese food just now. rice with soft shell crab and mash potato and soup only costs like... $3.50! hahaha im happy! it's canteen food so its cheap! pls McD's there too!)

Changes

Where do I really start? I've been spending most of my time at my mom's shop doing all the many, many things that have to be done and are due very soon. If I don't get my butt to start moving, I'm going to live my life with full of regrets. Now, we don't want that to happen do we? I have my mom who keeps pushing me on because she does know what it takes. Sometimes its pretty hard but you just gotta swallow your pride because you're way younger and you just don't know as much as you thought you did. How true! I've come to a point where I thought I knew it all... Pfft! YEA RIGHT!

So many things are changing. People are leaving. It's kind of sad to see people go but I guess this is the way things are right? I remember hating the airport. Most of the people that meant so much to me had to leave. And I had to live life without them (well, not exactly) but as I grew older (yes I'm older... -.-'), things changed. I never liked change. Ugh, I hated it but God taught me valuable lessons through it.. and He's still teaching me.

You know, sometimes we'd wake up and we'd think we can't take it anymore and all we wanna do is give up. Wow, I'm glad I don't serve a God who would give up on me so easily because it gets too stressful. Man, He never failed me even when I've broken His heart plenty of times. It's like seeing the Word of God coming to life everyday. The Word becoming flesh. Sometimes it happens just like that. Open up your heart. Open up your mind and see things through His eyes.

There are so many choices that I have to make and I've said that over and over again. But I know that whenever I trust that still small voice in my heart, He'll never let me down. He hasn't when I was in Form 6. I remember thinking I can't take GP because it was too hard (over paranoid... worried for something when I haven't even tried it yet!). I remembered being worried that I can't take the pressure if I re-sit my AS again. But it all turn out well, according to His will. If He says it's gonna be OK, it's simply gonna be OK! Cos His Word stands and there's nothing, absolutely nothing that can break that down.

I guess this is what surrender is all about. Living a life of worship begins when you drop everything, and walk towards the cross.

Juan: will be missing ya miss! remember to take care! we still have to invent that machine that can shrink ur monkey!

Cyndy: I can't believe you're leaving so soon too! And you can't even come on Fri! bummer. that's OK! Hope to see u before you leave ya!